Are you confusing submission for willingness?
There are two terms that often cross paths and are sometimes used interchangeably: submission and willingness.
Yet, beneath the surface, there exists a significant distinction that sets them apart. Let us share with you how we tease apart the intricacies and subtleties of these concepts and explore the profound nature of a horse's choice.
Picture this: you're engaged in training your horse, a partnership that has been nurtured over weeks, and it's time to introduce a new challenge. You ask something of your horse, whether it's a complex exercise or a simple task. What unfolds next is where the divide between submission and willingness becomes apparent.
Submission, often misinterpreted as a desirable trait, implies obedience driven by fear or coercion. In this context, your horse complies with your request out of fear of the consequences of disobedience or because it has been conditioned to respond to your cues. It's a robotic, mechanical compliance.
Is this truly the pinnacle we aspire to in our relationship with these majestic animals?
Now, let's shift our perspective to willingness. Willingness signifies a horse's voluntary and enthusiastic participation in the task at hand. It arises from a foundation of trust, respect, and a mutual understanding between horse and rider. When a horse displays willingness, it doesn't merely carry out your ask; it does so with eagerness, enthusiastic to participate.
So, how do we differentiate between submission and willingness in our equine partners? The key lies in this question: would the horse willingly engage in the same behaviour without external pressures or the fear of repercussions?
One of the big training hurdles my students have to overcome is the idea that you have to let go of control to gain “control”. You actually don’t have control over the horse because of the bit or the halter, or the pressure you apply, or the way you manhandle your horse. It is hard to let go and trust and it's also hard to acknowledge that no matter how hard you hold and how tight the grip is you aren’t actually in control.
That’s why I teach the Holistic Horse Handling Methodology, where we start with connection, consent, togetherness. When the thing you want your horse to do is their choice as well, you can have more confidence in how your horse will respond. And when you take the time to have conversations around choice with your horse, you can start to understand the different no’s before you get to volatile no’s.
Not right now,
Ask in a different way,
I don’t understand,
Tthat hurts,
I can’t physically do it,
I’m sore today from our work yesterday…
…All of these still look like resistance, but can be negotiated differently to find out what a yes today looks like.
Especially if you are a competitor, this starts to give you an understanding of what your horse needs conditioning wise to have them at their peak on show day. Understanding what their workload looks like to have elastic, athletic movement without muscle soreness or tightness from working the day before on show day has the potential to give you the edge and push your percentage up a couple of marks. Knowing how much warm up they need to be elastic but not fatigued. What the cool down should look like, what your cross training looks like leading up to a show, how to keep them from going arena sour by adding engaging exercises to their training or hacking them out. All these facets of training can only be uncovered when the horse has permission and the psychological safety to communicate when it is not having a good day and when it is!
So often we are called upon as riders to “push our horse through it”, “make them do it”, “show them who’s boss”, ignore the no, cowgirl up and do it anyway; not only does it break our horses trust and confidence in us but it also means they have no way of communicating to us that the work they are doing is detrimental to their health.
The work we are forcing them into is going to create long term soundness issues that mean they will break down and be unrideable. We are looking for signs that our horses are enjoying being ridden and movement feels good, not forcing them into exercises that lead to injury and long term irreparable damage to their body.
The development of willingness is a gradual process. It necessitates patience, empathy, and a profound comprehension of your horse's needs and desires. It revolves around establishing an environment where your horse feels secure, valued, and heard. When this profound connection is forged, your horse evolves into more than a mere riding tool; it becomes a willing and enthusiastic partner. We work as a team and that union in flow is a beautiful place of peace in the saddle. This is how you start to move out of conflict and become the Connected Equestrian.
The next time you find yourself engaged with your horse, take a moment to reflect on the nature of your relationship. Are you pursuing submission through force and coercion, or are you nurturing willingness through trust and mutual understanding and confidence in each other?
Submission and willingness do not equate. Submission may yield immediate results, but it can corrode the bond between you and your horse over time. In contrast, willingness fosters a deeper connection, a partnership founded on trust and shared purpose.
Are you ready to be the Connected Equestrian?