New horse - now what?
So you’ve got a new horse and you’re starting to figure out it's harder than you expected and not all it's cracked up to be.
You thought you got your dream horse, but working with them is stressful and you come away feeling like a failure and you’re not good enough.
Maybe your horse just needs a better rider.
Before you truly throw in the towel, consider this:
Take the expectations off of yourself and your horse
You may have thought that you would have your new horse a couple weeks and be ready to go out and do all the amazing things you dreamed of, but now you feel nervous and uncomfortable and are finding excuses for why you shouldn’t ride.
Your new horse isn’t a mechanical object. It comes with emotions and emotional baggage. It has had a huge transition and we can never quite know what has happened to them in their life.
Take those expectations away and just get to know your new horse and focus on building a relationship and trust first.
Know that you are enough
When it comes to working with our horses it is so very common to come away feeling like we aren’t enough. Just having the attitude that you can be exactly what your horse needs can be the game changer to succeeding with your horse.
Skill isn’t the be all and end all
While it is important to develop the skills to help you and your horse succeed together, it is just one piece of the puzzle.
The most important thing that you can provide for your horse is security and safety that you are going to show up as a good leader and meet their emotional needs.
Professional trainers are good at teaching buttons (trained cues), but a horse that can’t control its emotions can’t control its behaviour - so providing your horse with the emotional support and balance they need will go a long way to creating the relationship and horse of your dreams.
Establish yourself as a leader with easy exercises
Your horse knows what you don’t know: an important part of your horse cooperating and being safe is that you see you as a good leader.
If you are trying to further your skills and challenge yourself by doing things outside your comfort zone, your horse will know that you aren’t competent in following through on those asks and will challenge you as a leader.
Start building your relationship and leadership skills with exercises that make you go” pfft that’s too easy”, because all of your horses little quirks will have the opportunity to come out in exercises that you are confident with which will build your confidence in how well you know your horse and build their confidence in you. Once you know what your horse does at its worst, what they are doing when they aren’t coping with the stress and pressure and how to bring them back from the brink of overwhelm and distress - only then should you start challenging yourself and your horse.
Be flexible and ready to shift the goal posts when needed
This goes hand in hand with dropping your expectations.
If you go in to work with your horse expecting them to work or behave a certain way and they don’t meet your expectations, you can create a negative working environment where neither of you are enjoying each others company. Being able to shift your goal posts so that it's impossible to not come away with a win and positive experience makes both you and your horse look forward to spending time together.
Always finish on a positive note feeling like you could’ve done more.
