Horse body language: Are they saying no?

Is your horse trying to say no?

why doesn't my horse like me

We are so often hearing “why does my horse...?”, “Is my horse being naughty?”, “Does my horse hate me?”, “Why won't my horse...?”

This perception and wording of what you ask yourself when you are working your horse plays a significant role in not only how you train but also how your horse works.

If you are trying to find ways to make your horse do something you are inevitably going to come across the argument of who's the bigger bully.

But when you can think of working with your horse in a way where they have a choice to say yes or no then we can start to work together. If we can see that willingness is a yes to our ask and resistance is a no to our ask we can ask WHY is our horse giving us a no (therefore rule out pain and other issues) and ask HOW can get a yes.

One of the ways we do this is by being flexible with our goal posts. Our goal posts is basically getting the yes. And if we can set willingness and yeses as our goal posts, its impossible to come away without a win. Its when we have certain expectations of what our horse should do for us + willingness and yeses that we are setting both ourselves and our horses up to fail.

For example, consider if you are going out to work your horse with the expectation of doing a 90cm gridwork session. You go out to catch your horse and they high tail it to the back corner of the paddock (first no). Eventually you catch them and they are fidgeting and fussing around for the saddle and channeling their inner giraffe for the bridle (second and third no). Then they won’t stand still for you to mount (fourth no). They start mucking up for you in your warm up pulling through the bit, testing and fighting every aid etc. How well do you think your actually training session is going to go?

Now consider your if instead you adjusted your goal posts to have willingness and yes as the goal for the day. You go to catch your horse the go to the end of the paddock so you work on some focus, attention and connection exercises and they hook on and follow you up to the barn. They start fidgeting and fussing around for their tack so you work on getting a yes to put the saddle on and getting them to put their own bridle on. They won’t stand still for the mounting block so you work on getting them to invite you into the saddle. So you can start to see rather than it being an argument the whole way through you acknowledge the no and reshape the exercise to make the yes the goal.

How much different do you think your horse would be by the end of the training session? What about a week of training them like this? A month? A year? How could the relationship with your horse change if the focus of each training session was willingness and yeses instead of task achievement?

Will it take longer? Short term? Yes. Long term? No. If you put the work in at the beginning to set the expectations and the standards it does take a while of you showing up with consistency of your expectations to condition the horses interaction but once this is established the more difficult exercises that become big road blocks actually become relatively easy to progress through.

So rather than getting frustrated, impatient and disheartened because every training session is a battle and you constantly feel stuck, flip the script. Break it down it to small achievable goals, build the yeses and eventually the yeses come easily to the bigger asks. And the best thing is, once this is well established, when your horse does say no, you know their is a good reason and can catch it before it becomes a big problem.

Do you need help establishing focus, attention and connection? Join our free stronger bond community where we give you support for exactly that.

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