Time Heals All Wounds?

***Warning: this blog is not specific to horses. In fact, it is a eulogy for my soulmate.***

2006

As the famous saying goes…

Time heals all wounds

But does it really?

While it may be true in most cases, there are a variety of pains that time has no impact on.

The loss of a soulmate is very likely to be near the top of that list.

For those of you that don’t believe in soulmates, you clearly haven’t met the right animal yet.

I met my soulmate 18 years ago today. I returned to my parents place, only to be greated by a pale calico kitten running up to greet me. In that exact moment, something inside just clicked. I knew she was mine and I was hers.

Our relationship was not perfect. I ignored Sima’s opinion of my boyfriend at the time (she hissed at him the minute she met him - to which she NEVER has done prior or since) - to my own peril, when he relocated me interstate and then dumped me the same day, but not before convincing me to surrender her to a vet clinic on the way. Thankfully my family rescued her and we were reunited a short time later.

2012

When she was just about 15 months of age, I had adopted another kitten. She and Rael were playing on the windowsill of my shabby villa late one night when the window screen collapsed and they both fell outside (being indoor cats). I woke to Rael’s cries but Sima was gone. It took 3 weeks of searching and letterbox drops before an elderly lady contacted me, saying Sima had shown up on her doorstep, scared and shaking, in the middle of a viscious storm. The moment I arrived to collect her, she came running over, crying about her scary adventure. She was reluctant to go anywhere new without me from that moment.

Sima was a patient teacher, allowing me to practice my nursing skills without a fuss. She would even let me place an intravenous catheter without anyone else holding her! Even as she aged, and the intensity of her treatments grew, she surpassed every vet and nurses expectation by playing the part of the perfect patient.

The memories are endless:

• The time she tried to wake me up by sitting on my chest and tapping my face with her paw - the second time with one single, delicate claw extended.

• Snuggling on the lounge with me and her sister while reading.

• Getting excited to go for a walk in her harness - only to freeze when a magpie was serenading her (so excited, she was unable to decide what to do!)

• Sneaking up on my aunt when her back was turned and launching herself upon her, landing halfway up her back before bolting again.

2018

We fought so many battles and you pulled through nearly every single one - and if love was enough, you would have pulled through this as well.

But your sudden collapse, with your heart throwing mini clots causing strokes, your kidneys deteriorating rapidly, and your body no longer able to fight; the grief of my lack of ability to help you, my inability to be at your side at that moment it first happened; these are memories that will haunt me as they are the reason you are no longer at my side.

As was my responsibility as your soulmate, I made the heartbreaking decision to end your pain and bear it alone. One day shy of 18 years together, I held you in my arms and watched you take your last breath.

Sima, you were my favourite hello and my hardest goodbye.

A part of my soul now resides with you in the shadowlands.

Perhaps time will heal this wound, but it won’t be in my lifetime. My heart will only heal when we meet again.