Is forced consent still a yes?
Is forced consent still consent?
We were having a discussion in our stronger bond community about how I ask Fitty if he wants his rug on and I let him tell me yes or no.
This flies in the face of everything we are taught in the horse industry. The horse must do as its told otherwise it will be the boss!!
I admit it was initially an uncomfortable conversation for me. It went against everything I have been taught to let my horse say no to me!!
This is where we have started to tier our yeses to find out truly if they are a yes or if they are a yes because they have no other option. In certain scenarios we can give the horse a choice. One scenario is whether or not they want a rug. If he were old, underweight or clipped I would tell him he had no choice but as it is, I'm happy for him to tell me what he wants.
So here's a little break down as I see it:
Submission, your horse is saying yes because it has no other option
Disobedience, your horse is saying no because they are challenging you
Willingness, your horse is saying yes because they are actively engaged in the exercise and you're building their yes muscle
Consent, your horse has the option to say no and sometimes does but you are asking for permission to do something with them and they are consenting the ask.
Choice, you are giving the horse a choice of 2 options and they are allowed to pick.
There are certain times and places for all these forms of yeses. The deeper the connection and the better you open the lines of communication the clearer you and your horse will work through these conversations without their behaviour escalating.