The biggest mistake I see equestrians making is thinking man handling and wrestling a horse into a behaviour is training. 

Training is creating a language. First you are shaping a word. This is where I love positive reinforcement for what I call single word cues. 

One behaviour, that is easy to guide, mark and motivate. This is where all the big lessons are learnt. What your horse does when it's frustrated, doesn't know the answer, bored, not relaxed, not seeking answers, how long they can hold their focus for, when they need a break, the signs they show just before they need a break, so many things about that unique horses learning process. 

Because the big goal is multiple linked behaviours that create a back and forth conversation to achieve the big, scary, complicated task. Just as we want the horse to learn our cues we need to learn there's. Just because they understand the word we used doesn't mean they will say yes. We need to create a language around the no. 

Is it there is pain? Is it I don't know the answer? Is it I can't do that right now? Is it yes but I need a moment to process before I say yes. Is it yes but on the condition of reciprocity? 

When we listen we give horses permission to communicate what they need to participate in the activity we are doing with them. But if we are to listen we need to learn to read the communication of the body.