There are 2 mistakes the conflicted equestrian makes in training when they lose their orientation with connection based work with their horse. I’m going to discuss these, but also share 3 tips to becoming a Holistic Horse Rider. 

Mistake 1: Emotional attachment to the outcome. 

This has been an ongoing and ever evolving theme in my life, where I am constantly letting go of my attachment to what the results look like. “This or something better”, is a fall back mantra I say to myself as the results in my mind don’t look quite the same as in real life!!

And this is so very normal. 

We ride the tide of having big audacious dreams and goals and get 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years into working towards those goals to become frustrated that we haven’t achieved them. But that is because what we imagine the results of our work and effort to look like and what they look like in reality are often not the same. Especially if we are comparing ourselves to someone else's highlight reel. 

So we make our goals smaller, more achievable and fear dreaming big for failure and then get frustrated that we are stuck in the same place we were a year ago. 

Being able to show up every day to do the work, improve on yourself from yesterday without attachment to what the results will look like for you is an art. And it is the art of negotiating frustration and stagnation in training. It is mammal behaviour to move away from pain towards pleasure. Move away from what you don’t want towards what you do want. Sometimes we get stuck moving away from something we don’t want and it seems to chase us down. Sometimes we get stuck towards working towards a goal that seems impossible and it becomes scary to dream big. 

Become present. Be here now. Feel safe to relax. Take a moment with me. Breath into your body. What can you be grateful for right now. What can you look back on and reflect how much you’ve grown and learnt in being with the horse. How far have you come? Now ask for and project more of that. 

It doesn’t always look like olympic gold medals, single stride tempi changes and pirouettes. More often than not it looks like a light workout (if we are lucky to have the time) that has the potential to exercise our mind and body and replenish our cup. This can be enough if you let it. 

Audacious goals can be fun to work towards when we have the time, energy and capacity to commit to them but also can just be being with our horses. It's essential to exercise patience and respect your horse's unique timeline for learning. Each horse has its distinct personality and learning curve. Embrace that pace, and you'll find the journey becoming smoother and more cooperative. Remember, the ultimate goal isn't just training a horse but creating a partnership based on trust and collaboration.

Mistake #2: Inconsistency

Another widespread misstep is inconsistency in training. Horses thrive on routine and predictability not only in their day to day routine but also in how they are expected to respond to a cue. Disregarding these elements can confuse them and create resistance.

Investing in a training journal (or Holistic Horse Handling Program where we have the shaping plans done for you) is critical to having a horse that trusts you and is confident in how to answer you, especially if you have a horse that falls into the protector personality quadrant. Deciding one day to change how you would like your horse to respond to a cue just creates disconnect and confusion. This is why most trainers want you to follow their (method). Because their method is how they are going to layer cues on top of cues to create a more complex language. Deciding to change the “method” or language part way through to working towards your goal because you think its not working is a sure fire way to not only have you going backwards in working towards your goal but also getting an anxious, confused or grumpy horse.

Trust me I know! I had been working on the spanish walk with asking Fitty to target the whip and changed my mind and decided I wanted him to back off the cue to work him at liberty. And it did not go down well! It broke his trust in me and caused further relational rupture that needed repairing. That is why in our Holistic Horse Handling Program we have strategic and intentional lesson/shaping plans that help you to build out a language with your horse. 

Without knowing what problems you will come across down the road you can find yourself getting stuck because you don’t know how to communicate the navigation through the challenge. That is why we share a universal language that most horses understand to get you from the basics of horse husbandry right through to the ridden athlete. Your horse needs clear, reliable, consistent cues and expectations. This sets the stage for a sense of security and trust, significantly enhancing your horse's willingness to cooperate.

Now that we've discussed the pitfalls, let's shine a light on the lessons learned and the road to better horsemanship.

One of the most valuable lessons in working with horses is effective communication. Instead of immediately delving into training, invest time in developing a shared language of cues and signals that your horse can understand. By sharpening your communication skills, you'll notice your horse responding with grace and cooperation.

Patience is truly a virtue in horsemanship. Instead of chasing instant results, embrace the journey of growth and development. Be adaptable and open to learning as much from your horse as you teach them. This approach creates an environment where your horse feels valued, reducing antagonism and increasing cooperation.

Trust is the bedrock of a prosperous partnership with horses. It's essential to nurture trust in both directions. Trust your horse to grasp your cues and signals, while simultaneously ensuring your horse trusts you to provide guidance, security, and care.

The journey of working with horses is a continuous process of growth and understanding. Rather than attempting to unravel or unlock some kind of magical secret, concentrate on learning from your experiences and embracing the valuable lessons along the way. By prioritizing patience, effective communication, and trust, you can enhance your skills and develop a partnership with your horse grounded in cooperation and harmony. 

Join us on this voyage of self-improvement in the equestrian world, and let's work together to be the best partners we can be for our equine companions.