I can't make him be the horse you want him to be

I can't make him be the horse I want him to be 

I can only allow him to be who he is

My biggest fear as a horse trainer was the future of the horse. The industry is such a tough place for a horse and even the good ones - the best trained, the most willing and obedient horse - can find themselves at the doggers or broken down and abandoned in a paddock.

The future of the horses as a trainer was always out of my control and I would bring fear to the session for their safety when they were no longer under my care.

I saw what happened to horses as they age. When they outlived their usefulness. Or when they couldnt be the horse the owner had in mind; I would fear for their future. 

I was scared for them and for their future. That is not a good place to be in mentally as a trainer. It was not helpful to the horses being the best version of themselves. 

And that's where the difference between behaviours and values are. Demanding respect and building connection. When you trick train a horse for a certain set of behaviours you can have them cued in but it doesn't give them any life skills. 

Building a foundation of connection during the process of teaching cues, you also offer a landscape of coping strategies for life, pressure and stress, dealing with humans, all of which builds trust and confidence in you.

When the connection is built the horse responds to you because they trust what you are asking of them. 

Without connection they only respond through fear of consequences.

Something that I still hear regularly when I was a kid, and still from riders of my generation, is:

“It wouldn't help the horse to only be able to be handled by one person; the building of connection approach is no good for the horse because that wouldn't work for the next person that you sold them too. Don't pat on them, don't treat them, don't love them.”

But that's only an argument if you plan to sell your horse. 

That isn't the point of a heart horse. They are with you until the end. Or at the end. You are there for them to walk them over the bridge and say see you in the next life.

I know what's in this life for a horse and the only way I can train now is to know I'm working with people who are seeking their heart horse. Because for them we can build out a beautiful relationship, which is always far more meaningful than the repertoire of tricks they can perform.